Being Patient

Being patient is not my strong point...just ask Mark. The adoption process is a test of my patients every day. Every day I walk past the nursery and think about how much I want our new family member living in there and enjoying all the work and love we have put into it.

Every time I check my email to see if the agency has emailed it tests my patients. Every time I check to see if I missed a call only to find that I have not missed "the" call it tests my patients.

Up until now it has been a bit easier waiting as we had rooms to paint, carpet to replace, and a nursery to put together. We, or rather I, had a shower to look forward to, and honestly the thought of getting a baby before the shower scared me. I really wanted to make sure we had everything we needed first.

Now we have all the necessities, the house projects and nursery are done, and the thank you cards have been sent from the shower. I'm ready for our baby!

All this waiting gives me more time to think than is probably good. I think it is possible to read too much, and think too much, and question too many things. I am 100% confident in our decision to welcome another person into our family and 100% confident that the decision to adopt was the right one for us. But I will admit every time I read about how hard it is for even a new born to adjust to not hearing it's mom's voice and the noises it heard for 9 months, and how we need to put extra effort into bonding, and that babies grieve the lose of their birth mother I feel a little twinge. A twinge of are we being selfish in our desire for a baby? Are we really a better option than the birth mother would be?

In my heart and mind I know we are a good option for someones baby. I know we are going to love her and do everything in our power to make the transition from birth mom to us as smooth as possible. And I know that my worries and not wanting to be patient are pretty normal feelings for someone waiting to adopt.

Every once in a while something will happen that makes all of the emotions, doubts, and worries go away. Today was one of those days. I met two wonderful people today, Vee and Sarah. They had wonderful words of advice, enthusiasm, and prayers for our adoption. Their enthusiasm that we will find the right baby soon gave me hope! When others tell me that we are doing a good thing and they are excited for us it makes all the worry and doubt fly right out the window.

Thank you Vee and Sarah...we met just when I needed to meet you. I look forward to our paths crossing again soon!

In the meantime I'm going to remind myself to cherish the time Mark and I have left just being Mark and I. Soon enough a wonderful new person will be in our life and things will forever change.