For The Love of Running

Ever since registering for the 1/2 marathon and starting the training I have lost my love of running.  It's a simple thing really, the difference between calling a friend and saying, "Hey I feel like running Chambers, want to join me" and "Hey, I have to get in 6 miles today, want to join me?" 

It's the difference between I have to and I want to.  I have been looking at all the training miles as something I have to do, not something I want to do.  Obviously I wanted to register for the 1/2 and wanted to put in the training miles or I wouldn't have registered, but my mental outlook has been negative.

(This has nothing to do with the running company I have been keeping as of late...I enjoy being around the people I run with and look forward to running with them as far as the social aspect...I have just not been loving the actual physical act of running.)

So much of running takes place in your head and my head has not been a happy running place the last few weeks.  

I didn't want to run yesterday, but I had to get 3 miles in, and as I was getting dressed was thinking  of it as something I had to do, not something I wanted to do.  In this negative mind set I managed to make one of the best running related decisions ever.  I plugged into my MP3 player and skipped listening to RunKeeper.  (RunKeeper tracks miles, pace, calories, elevation etc.)     

And you know what, I loved it.  I smiled at every single person I passed and I got lost in each song that came on.  I settled in and didn't think about am I too fast or slow.  I was able to pay attention to what hurt and why, is it an injury issue or just normal running pain.  And, I was able to just settle into a comfortable pace that felt good even if I had to idea what that pace actually was.

For so long I have been focused on pace and getting faster.  I have to get over the feeling of going backwards in my running.  I had finally gotten to a point in my 5K's that felt good and fast.  I was running between 8:40 and 9:20 a mile on a consistent basis and my training runs were fast as well.  But, they were short.  I didn't feel the need to run more than 3 or 4 miles since my races have, for the most part, all been 5K's.  It took a year for me to get to that point and now having to slow things down a bit feels like a step in the wrong direction.  But, it's not and I know that, just had to let go of it.

Even though I listened to my MP3 player I still had RunKeeper running .  When I checked it at the end of my run I learned that 10:20 to 10:30 is pretty comfortable.  I felt like I could have kept going for many more miles.  I feel like 10:30 may be a good pace to aim for.  I guess I will figure that out as I start doing longer and longer training runs.  I think I'm going to stop listening to my pacing for the majority of my runs.  I will probably listen once a week or so just so I can adjust while running and know what faster or slower feels like without having to be told.

Yesterdays run was just what I needed.  So looking forward to my long run tomorrow with Jodi!!