Goal Update

A few weeks ago I posted that I am participating in an 8 week challenge for the New Year. My challenge is to not get so irritated with Mark when I perceive him as talking to me like I’m a 2 year old. Since the challenge has started he has not made any “2 year old” comments directed at me, so I have yet to test how I’m actually doing, but I have still learned a lot!

I decided a good starting spot would be to read the 5 Love Languages and I am about ½ way through the book. What I have learned is that while we don’t have the typical “major” marital issues, I still have room for improvement. I say I because the only person I have 100% control over in life is me.

I think over the last 4 years of volunteering with Relay I got used to not having much time to spend with Mark and being away from home 3 or 4 nights a week. I don’t believe absence makes the heart grow fonder…I think it makes the heart grow independent! I can honestly say I’m not used to spending so much time at home or with Mark. While I love spending time with him and I love our home I started taking it for granted and started thinking about me and not us.

The 5 Love Languages has helped me to make mental lists of what I love about Mark and us and one of the things that struck me is I love the very quality about him that irritates me. He is so good at answering questions when kids want to know why or how. He knows how to give them a grown up answer in terms they can understand. It is one of the things that make me so excited to have a child with him. So why is it that it bothers me so much when he explains things to me? It’s not really fare for me to expect him to change such a core quality about himself when he is around me. The bottom line is I’m the one that needs to change, not him.

I have found that using the tools in the book has helped me remember the qualities about Mark that I fell in love with in the first place. While the book may help me with my goal for the 8 week challenge the bigger benefit is it is helping me realize why I love him and what kind of wife I want to be and that is only going to benefit our marriage.

I’m sure there will still be days that I get irritated at him and days that I’m not the best wife I could be (big secret…I’m not perfect) but I feel like I’m headed in the right direction at least.