8 Week Challenge Update

Some of you know I participated in an 8 week challenge. My number one goal, not get irritated with Mark when he talks to me in what I call "his talking to a two year old tone".

For the record I don't view this as something negative about Mark, rather it is a negative that I respond to it in a negative way. (Ok, so I didn't feel that way headed into the challenge, which is why I needed the challenge, but I do feel that way now.)

There were a few other things I was working on at the same time as well, but this was the focus. My first thought was that if I got irritated with Mark I would tell him I loved him instead of responding with some smart comment that would lead to hurt feelings. Wouldn't you know that during the first several weeks no "two year old tone" was used so I didn't get to test my plan. The second thing I wanted to do was read The 5 Love Languages. Why that book? Because I had heard so much about it and didn't really know where to start so thought that was as good a starting place as any.

I loved the book! There is some good advice and for me personally the concept in the book is solid. By the time I was done with the book Mark decided he wanted to read it. (I should note here that I never talked to Mark about my participation in the challenge and unless you read my posts you wouldn't know I was doing the challenge. This was something I did 100% for myself to try and change something I didn't like about myself and become a better person and wife.) It was an extra added benefit that he read the book and we were able to talk about it together. Did it result in huge changes, no, but it did make me think about myself as a wife and what Mark wants and how he wants to be treated. It also got me to thinking about how much I love my husband and reminded me of why he is so wonderfully amazing!

The end result...it is a lot harder to be irritated at someone when you are thinking about how much you love them and are appreciating the qualities and talents that person brings to the relationship. Do I still get irritated, sometimes, but I am getting better at not showing that irritation, or showing it to a lesser extent (at least I think I'm getting better at it).

The unexpected benefit was that I learned a very important life lesson - just because there are no "big issues" that we need to work on does not mean it is ok to just coast along in our marriage. The last 8 weeks I have been exposed to books, blogs, and marriage tips in many other forms and all of that exposure forces me to look at myself and our marriage and appreciate what we do really well and look at ways we can make a great marriage an amazing one. If we wait until there are big issues to work on to make our marriage a priority it may be too late! I would rather make a great thing even better than try and fix something that is broken!

The blog that hosted the challenge picked 5 finalist who participated in the challenge and posted updates every week and made progress. I was shocked and honored to find I was one of the finalist. I didn't do this for the recognition, but for myself, my husband, and our relationship. Having said that, it did feel good see my name included with the 4 other finalists!

Thank you to Dustin at Engaged Marriage (it really is a great blog...you should check it out!) for hosting the 8 week challenge, keeping us on track, calling us out if we did not post our progress, sharing your own personal journey, offering advice and tips on reaching our goals, and for the lesson learned!

I think this may have started a new tradition for me. I have never been a fan of New Years Resolutions, but in the form of an 8 week challenge I really liked it. I like having something to focus/work on and may take the next 8 weeks and focus on exercises and diet. I'm getting ready to add a new work out program (waiting for the video to arrive before I post anything about it) to my already regular work out schedule and really want to lose that last 10 pounds.

More on that once I have the video.