Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Race Anxiety

I am running in the Sound To Narrows this weekend and I'm anxious about it. Yep it's a 5K so I know I can do it...I have finished several now, so I know I can do it. But, I have not run much since Sky arrived, just once actually this last weekend on a track at Relay. Also, I'm without my most valuable resource...Michelle.

(Ok I guess the argument can be made that my most valuable resource is my mind and my determination, and my confidence in my fitness and my ability to run a 5K even if lacking the number of training runs I would like).

But, Michelle and I have run every race together, and almost every training run for that matter. I think I have run maybe 4 times by myself. Michelle get's me through the rough spots. She always knows when I need a high five, and encouraging word or a fist pound.

What am I going to do running without her?! I don't know.

What I do know is that I am having my pre-race massage on Thursday, I have my breakfast planned and ready to go. The race playlist is ready and my clothes are all clean and ready to go. Yes, it is only Tuesday and already I'm making sure everything is good to go.

I hope that by Saturday I can embrace the aloneness and focus on pushing myself and seeing just what I am capable of on my own. (May not be the best time to push myself considering the lack of training runs, but oh well.)

My goal will be what it always is...start the race, finish the race and run the entire way. Just wish I felt a little better about it.

1 comment:

popeye said...

Although I have only ran one race, a six miler back in the day, I have spent countless hours running to get down to the 3-4 percent body fat needed to be a cometitive bodybuiler. Only a few years back it was very common for me to run five miles no less than five days a week. With my muscle mass and weight that 15 miles a week was a test. Especially considering the starvation diet we have to endure to drop to such leanness. Every time I did the five miles my goal was 50 to 55 minutes. I always was satisfied as long as it took less than an hour. Many times I settled for 58-59 minutes and even though I hadn't met my goal I always felt fortunate that somewhere along the run I hadn't dropped off into a diabetic coma. Add in the fact that I always had to work through dibetic reactions while running I dealt with some very desperate pain, and mental battles while running. Therefore, it was always a win for me, no matter the time. I can only say this--I would have loved to have had Beth's blog back then. She articulates everything so well in capturing the agony of the sport of running. It is inspirational, motivating, and certainly gives strength to anyone involved with a sport that causes your own physiology to revolt against itself. I will be thinking of you, and your sister will be thinking of you on race day. Go back and read her blog following the last SanFrancisco marathon, and her last blog describing racing on two consecutive days. And know that in thought we both will be with you every step of the race.
Love dad