It seems like High School repeats itself throughout life. Friends do stupid things, act immature, sometimes I do stupid things and act immature, feelings get hurt, gossip and rumors are spread and it goes on and on. I really thought that once I graduated that would all end, but here I am at 35 and it still happens. And, the worse part is I was part of it.
Sorry if this is a little cryptic, but trying to leave out names and details so that further rumors and gossip are not spread.
I have a friend that I have lost touch with and this person has had a huge impact on how I feel about a few specific people. I have taken this friends word for how these other people act and behave and have never questioned her opinion of them. Unfortunately I let this friends feelings shape how I view and think of these other people, and I feel really bad about that. I have made some harsh judgments and formed some strong opinion about others based on what I was told. I don't usually do that...I usually take everything I hear with a grain of salt and give myself time to form my own opinions.
In this case I trusted this friend so much that I took their word for it. I am truly sorry I did that. (Especially after learning something last night that changes my opinion of said friend.) Maybe this friend was right in their opinion about these other people, maybe not, but the bottom line is I formed opinions that I should not have because they were not truly my own opinion.
Life's twists and turns have taught me that until I am in a similar situation I can't judge others and I should never, ever judge others based on word of mouth, gossip and bitter hurt feelings of others.
I am trying not to make too harsh of a judgment against said friend, but patterns over the last months have reveled that perhaps they were not as good of a friend as I had thought. A conversation is in order to give this person a chance to state their side of things (I don't want to repeat the mistake of using word of mouth to make a judgment call, but there is other evidence as well) but it does hurt to learn that someone you thought was a good friend who had so much influence may not be the friend or person you think they are.
It is a bit of a relief though...I have been torn for months as to what a good course of action is and now feel like I understand a few things a little better and can stop feeling so torn.
I am disappointed in myself that I let high school'ish behavior dictate how I think and treat others who probably deserve a much high opinion from me than I have given.
1 comment:
I'm not sure if I know the person you're talking about...but I will tell you I've had the exact same thing happen to me. And it was a very humbling experience when I realized that I shouldn't have believed everything I heard.
And small worlds of small worlds, one of the people that I made a judgment call on (based on what I had heard from that friend) ended up being a very good friend of my future husband's and was in our wedding. I am so grateful that I took the time to find out the truth or I would have missed out on an amazing person.
I remember growing up thinking "how great it will be when people get old and mature"...and then realized that age and maturity don't always walk hand in hand, myself included at times. :)
Praying that you find a good resolution to it all. It's not always easy.
Post a Comment